Dear Sewing Machine,

What?!
Really?

How can I put this?  We need to talk.

In any good relationship, no matter how close, there are differences of habit and opinion that can cause unhappiness, and I feel it is about time I share some of the thoughts and feelings I have been hiding.  I hope you will take them in the spirit they are offered, as a stepping stone to a better relationship.

  1.  When I stop quilting with the needle in the down position, I would appreciate it if you do not attempt to anticipate the direction I intend to go.  In fact, as you will apparently be surprised to know, in most cases I did not intend to jump off sideways a 1/8th or more inches from where the needle was put down.
  2. If you must insist on demonstrating your psychic powers, I would appreciate you using them when I have finished a line of stitching in precisely the right
    No, wait! I meant forward!
    No, wait! I meant forward!

    place, have done a back stitch or two and now intend to quilt blissfully forward. Your proactive efforts to prevent me from careening off in the wrong direction by switching the back-stitch button on or off as needed, would be deeply appreciated.

  3. They say that imitation is the sincerest form of flattery.  I deeply admire those sewing machines that are able to cut threads automatically at the end of a line of stitching. Do you think if I arranged to situate you between several of those admirable models, you might, through discreet conversation, discover their secrets and add to your repertoire of skills?
  4. I know this is a sensitive matter and you pride yourself on having fine taste.  However, there is an appropriate measure to all things.  Spray basting is a highly respected and effective means of basting a quilt, and you would do well to adapt. Skipping stitches in protest is highly unbecoming.
  5. Please be kind enough to inform me when I am stitching without thread.  It is quite upsetting to carefully and slowly
    Where are the stitches?
    Where are the stitches?

    follow a precise design, happy that this time you seem to have gotten it just right, only to discover there is, in fact, no stitching.  It is hurtful if you giggle.

May our partnership continue to deepen,

Sincerely yours,

L.

* As I encountered various challenges trying to translate the design in my head onto my quilt today, I was reminded of this letter to a bank manager that has made the internet rounds.  If you haven’t read it, I hope you enjoy it.  It inspired my post.

P.S.

Also linking this post up to Let’s Bee Social.  I have been sewing but don’t have anything I can show at the moment that hasn’t been shared to death so I thought I would bring this older post back.  You’ll be happy to know my sewing machine and I are getting along quite well.

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12 Comments

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  1. Haha! Your sewing machine needs to get with your program 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Electronic buttons and a display screen? You must be joking. My 1960s Husqvarna is solid metal, all manual, and has faithfully allowed me to create such beautiful one-of-a-kind clothes that people stop me and ask where I got them.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Love it, made me laugh as my machine is obviously from the same stable 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  4. A friend of mine who owns a Bernina says her machine is in diva mode when it acts up.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. I like your blog. Beautiful quilts. Love that you talk to your sewing machine lol.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. My computer has a similar attitude.

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Absolutely Beautiful Quilting – I hope you and your sewing machine work things out ❤ and continue to create together 😉

    Liked by 1 person

  8. Hahahah – my conversations with my sewing machine are much less ladylike. Thanks for the laughs!

    Liked by 1 person

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